Saving the environment from humanity boiling off the face of the planet should be the world’s No.1 priority. And the last time La Liga Loca looked, 18 minutes ago, that world included UEFA.
Although two clubs agreeing the result of a match before it is played is a bit of a frowned-upon no-no in the circles of Europe’s governing überbody – just below booing their Champions League anthem – an awful lot of pollution could have been saved if Astana and Atlético Madrid had simply agreed to share the spoils in a goalless draw and the Spanish side had never left Capital City. It was the most predictable result since a last-day Primera relegation battle involving Zaragoza. Allegedly.
Instead, a ton of gloves, soup bowls, hot ham and warming-type things was hauled seven hours by air to the Kazakh capital – the same distance as a trip to New York – for a completely dull, pointless match between the two teams.
Even Diego Simeone knew what was coming. “The match did not surprise me at all,” commented the Atlético boss before another mammoth trip across Eurasia. “I said before it started that it was going to be tough and difficult and so it was.”
Meanwhile at Mordor…
Although it didn’t do this publicly – no one wants to listen to the blog, for the most part – LLL also predicted the Real Madrid vs PSG result ahead of a match whose result was also written in the stars. The forces of Mordor are probably going to win the Champions League under Rafa Benitez, simply because they are exceptionally good at grinding out wins and draws when the team doesn’t play especially well.
The double-header with PSG, which promised a great deal, was a fairly awful affair with just the single goal in 180 or so minutes. No wonder the 1-0 victory that all but secures top spot in the group was met with sighs rather than cheers from the Bernabéu crowd. “There’s a lot of food for thought,” was the admission from Sergio Ramos in a result that owed itself to PSG goalkeeper Kevin Trapp goofing up a cross-shot from Nacho, of all players. At least the German can console himself with rumours of a fling with Rihanna.
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It would be a porky to say that the Sevilla result was too predictable. The Andalusians are capable of being quite handy when in the mood. But that certainly wasn’t the case on Tuesday with a comfortable steamrollering by Manchester City. The defeat leaves the Spaniards third in the group, where they will probably stay before dropping back into the Europa League and winning it again, to start an endless cycle.
There are two more matches on Wednesday. Alvaro Negredo returns to the Valencia fold from Nuno exile for the most exciting action seen in Ghent since the invasion by the Franks in the fourth century. Or maybe the birth of Holy Roman Emperor Charles V in 1500. Too close to call.
Barcelona’s Camp Nou date with BATE is going to be anything but exciting. Which is why the Catalans always invent a bunch of fun stuff to talk about to keep everyone happy.
This week it is the aftermath of the Halloween invasion of Getafe’s press room – six weird words to write – although Luis Enrique wanted to stay out of the whole affair. “The only thing that happened on Saturday is that we played a great game and won 2-0. The rest is just circus.”
A more serious matter for Barça though might be the entire stadium being filled with supporters merrily waving Catalan flags, handed to them by pro-independence groups not connected with the club itself.
Their outside origin may not stop further fines or worse heading in the direction of the Camp Nou for breaking UEFA rules on political statements – something else to keep the European body away from saving the planet from self-destruction by stopping Atlético from travelling anywhere.
