It was just #banter
When Huddersfield announced this horror, Football Twitter cried foul. Main sponsor Paddy Power had forged a reputation built on mischief and japery, and terrified Terriers were waiting for the 'proper' shirt to drop within hours.
Only it didn't... until two days later, when Huddersfield finally revealed their 'actual', sponsor-less shirt (which in fairness, is an absolute beauty). After all, who could make a sash look that bad?
But that original effort isn't the only shocker to be unleashed upon the world so far this summer. Someone call the fashion police...
25. Swansea away
Our immediate thought upon seeing this kit for the first time was: Wayne Routledge is still at Swansea?! Once we’d taken a seat and prevented our brain from exploding, we analysed the jersey he’s wearing and decided it’s a more than worthy entry to our list.
24. Koln third
“FC [Koln] stands for tradition and modern, for classic values and courage for change,” said director Alexander Wehrle last month. “Accordingly, we have also created our kits for the 2019/20 season by following the traditional formula that our fans want: at home white, away red and something special for the third kit.”
We can certainly agree that this is special – but not in a good way.
23. Tottenham home
We almost dozed off just looking at this. Granted, it’s difficult to jazz up the kit of our team whose primary colour is white, but other clubs (Real Madrid, for instance) seem to manage it without too much trouble. Spurs’ home strip is both plain and plain boring.
22. Everton home
The pattern at the top of Everton’s new home kit is inspired by the criss-crossed steelwork of the upper tier of Goodison Park's Bullens Road stand, but you don’t need us to tell you that. Sadly, we can’t really see the point of it.
21. Nurnberg third
Rumour has it that Alex Ferguson demanded Manchester United change their grey away kit at half-time of a 1996 clash with Southampton not because the players couldn’t pick each other out against the stadium’s backdrop, but because he finally realise how dreadful the shirt was. Nurnberg should have read up on their history.
20. Nottingham Forest away
Red and blue are the two primary football kit colours, and it always jars when a club known for one of the two produces a change strip featuring the other. It’s impossible not to associate Nottingham Forest with red, so why do they insist on going blue for their away top so often? What’s more, this doesn’t even look good by anyone’s standards.
19. Nice third
We missed the news that Sampdoria had moved to Ligue 1. It’s widely agreed that the Blucerchiati have one of the nicest kits in the world, but that doesn’t mean that other clubs can simply Ctrl C, Ctrl V it. Hang your heads in shame, Nice.
18. Doncaster away
Darren Moore might be a lovely man, but even he must have had words when he saw Doncaster’s away kit for 2019/20. The new Rovers boss will be forced to watch his side turn up at opposition grounds wearing something that looks more like an intentionally bad t-shirt than a football kit.
17. KV Kortrijk home
Despite what our critics claim, we don’t have an institutional anti-KV Kortrijk bias here at FourFourTwo. However, it was impossible not to include a kit with a sponsor’s logo that takes up almost half of the whole thing on this list.
16. Newcastle home
Sigh. The stripes on Newcastle’s new home strip are far too chunky, and does the sponsor’s logo really need to be that big? Still, at least Magpies fans haven’t had anything else to fret about this summer…
15. Preston away
Plenty of kit manufacturers go overboard in their attempt to produce something unique and eye-catching, but it’s also possible to be too extreme in the other direction. As far as we can tell, Nike have simply handed Preston a plain red top and stuck three logos on it. We’d love to see the brainstorming notes for this one.
14. Luton aways
It’s always nice when clubs give a nod to tradition with their kit designs, but we’re afraid Luton’s pleas aren’t enough for their two away uniforms to avoid inclusion on this list.
A block design, using the navy and pink colours that featured on the club’s first ever home strip, is confusing. The alternative version – inspired by the Hatters’ iconic chequered flag, obviously – is far too messy for our liking.
13. Wolfsburg home
“The light effects of the home jersey radiate a lot of positive energy and the shirt is a further development of last season's successful dark green jersey,” explained Wolfsburg managing director Michael Meeske upon the strip’s release.
FourFourTwo are sticklers for efficiency, and we can sum it up in far fewer words: it’s rubbish.
12. Liverpool away
This isn’t an eyesore like some of the kits featured on this list, but it’s incredibly naff. Nothing about it screams Liverpool, and it would probably look better if the front was just plain white (however dull that sounds) rather than home to a weird, grey graphic pattern.
11. Amiens home and away
Not content with sending supporters to sleep with their on-field performances (only one surviving Ligue 1 team scored fewer goals last season), Amiens have decided to knock their remaining fans out with a pair of kits that could feasibly be used as tools for hypnosis. Perhaps they’re hoping to send opposition players into a trance and make it easier to hold on for a 0-0 draw.
10. Manchester United away
It’s been another busy summer at Manchester United, who have been scouring the globe for potential new additions to their official commercial partners. And when they’ve got a spare minute, maybe even some players.
United’s away kit is a bizarre-looking “savannah-toned” jersey whose mosaics are apparently inspired by those found in Manchester’s Northern Quarter – although we’re yet to come across anything that looks like this. Imagine what it’ll do to Phil Jones’s face.
9. Valencia away
Black and orange often make for a lovely colour combination on away kits, but we’re struggling to get on board with this.
The fiery graphic at the top of the shirt cuts off so abruptly that it feels as if PUMA ran out of orange colouring a third of the way through. Either that or the designers suddenly noticed it was 5pm on a Friday and were keen to make the most of two-for-ones at the boozer.
8. Southampton home and away
When the Saints go marching in, we’ll be heading out. Southampton have become increasingly bold in recent years, frequently tampering with their classic red and white stripes, but this year’s home shirt doesn’t cut the mustard.
The away one is even worse. If any future kit manufacturers are considering combining grey with yellow, just take a look at this design and get back to the drawing board.
7. Fiorentina aways
Why must Fiorentina insist on breaking the rules year after year? Once again the Tuscan side have released not one, not two, not three, but FOUR away kits for 2019/20. If they do it again next season we’re going to start a petition calling for automatic relegation to Serie D.
6. Juventus home
Juventus are so utterly dominant in Serie A that they seem to think they can do what they like. Their first move was to rip up the club’s traditional crest and replace it with a generic ‘J’; now they’ve gone a step further and replaced their iconic black and white stripes with a halved home jersey featured a baffling pink strip down the middle. Is nothing in this world sacred?
5. Chelsea home
Which Nike employee let their four-year-old loose with a crayon? That’s the only explanation we can muster for this monstrosity, which was mostly modelled by Eden Hazard in the marketing material. No wonder he wanted out.
4. Eibar home
Given that all stripes are created equal, we can’t help but feel sorry for Eibar’s blue horizontal bands which are pitifully squeezed into narrow areas by their larger red brothers. Also, what on god’s green earth is that collar?
3. Manchester City third
Two words: Slush Puppie. And as everyone knows, football and syrupy flavoured ice beverages just don’t go together. Seeing their assailants donning this awful kit will no doubt make home fans even angrier when City go 4-0 up inside 20 minutes.
2. Barcelona home
Now, we can understand the logic behind Barcelona consulting Lionel Messi on big transfer decisions, but letting Ivan Rakitic design the kit is a step too far.
Article 24, paragraph 5b of the football kit rulebook clearly states that a chequered design should not be present on any jersey that doesn’t belong to Croatia.
1. Stevenage home and away
Fun fact: it’s impossible for a human being to focus on other parts of these kits for more than three seconds before the brain and eyes are drawn back to the sponsor’s logo.
The home shirt actually looks more like a Burger King employee’s uniform than a football jersey, while the garish graphic on the away offering is literally painful to look at. What a pair of whoppers.
Get the best features, fun and footballing frolics straight to your inbox every week.
Thank you for signing up to Four Four Two. You will receive a verification email shortly.
There was a problem. Please refresh the page and try again.