Lists

Ranked! The 20 worst Premier League shirts EVER

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10. Coventry, 1992-94 (home)

What is it about the early 1990s and smudgy shirts? Every kit designer with a fancy new Apple Macintosh suddenly started to go wild for splodges and flecks, resulting in this monstrosity which art critic Brian Sewell would probably have called the work of an ignorant, inarticulate, talentless, loutish, self-regarding exhibitionist, had he not been too busy slagging off Tracy Emin.

9. Middlesbrough, 1996/97 (away)

Nineties Boro were a lot of fun for several reasons: the Riverside, Fabrizio Ravanelli, Juninho, promotion, relegation, re-promotion and cup finals. They also sported some very fine red shirts during the period – but this errea effort was a mis-step, from the walloping BORO scrawled over the arm to the curious cross made out of your nan’s decaying curtains.

8. Blackburn, 1996/97 (away)

Oh Lordy. While Blackburn’s home kits have almost always been models of tasteful understatement, this away effort was genuinely upsetting. Its sprinkled black club crest collage, down one side and along a sleeve, made Colin Hendry and friends look like they’d succumbed to some sort of jaundicing tropical disease.

7. Aston Villa, 1993-95 (away)

There's always a lack of dignity in a shirt sponsored by a yoghurt manufacturer: the bacterial fermentation of milk may be delicious, but it lacks the steely gravitas most teams hope that their hallowed shirt might exude. Green, black and red stripes add an extra layer of non-delicious fruit corner frivolity.

6. Norwich, 1992-94 (home)

Unfortunately nicknamed the ‘bird poo kit’, the design resembled a canvass that even squirt maniac Jackson Pollock might have binned for being too splattery. A shame, then, that this revulsion was worn during perhaps Norwich’s finest ever period on the pitch, as they finished third and then took apart Bayern Munich in Europe.

Perhaps there’s some kind of correlation, and they should bring a similar horror show back? To the abattoir!