James Maw lists moments when real life football seemed like something out of FIFA or PES - and not in a good way...
1. Ghost 1-0 Bailly
Supernatural forces at work, or was Manchester United's summer signing just playing with a lead weight around his neck?
A ghost pulled Bailly to the ground... https://t.co/lJzeGRQrFy
— Football Stuff (@FootbalIStuff) October 2, 2016
2. Timing is everything
Raheem Sterling thinks he's down with the kids – but someone should probably tell him that you don't just dab willy-nilly.
Don't think Sterling knows the right time to dab. pic.twitter.com/kbv9JBYNXN
— P. (@Unitedesque) October 2, 2016
3. Foul, ref!
— Estadio (@estadioec) May 9, 2016
4. Xabi Alonso ghosts in
We should have known all along that those Bayern Munich passing stats of his were all a con. Look, he's not even a human being.
5. Heads, shoulders, knees and toes
KNEES AND TOES!
6. Sissoko's no-look header
Moussa Sissoko certainly wouldn't be the first player to head the ball with his eye closed, but not many player can have nodded one away while looking in completely the opposite direction. That's just so unrealistic...
7. Madrid malfunction
"No, I'M throwing it..."
8. Chelsea are broken
This is just weird...
9. Sol Campbell's never-ending tackle
No, not like that. The former Notts County defender must have feared for his life during England's infamous Wembley defeat to Croatia in 2007. The same downpour that saw Steve McClaren reach for his brolly also caused the former Tottenham and Arsenal defender to slide on his ample rump for about seven minutes...
10. CR7 takes to the skies
While Campbell spent an age on the deck, Cristiano Ronaldo got some gnarly hang-time in Real Madrid's Champions League clash with Manchester United in 2012/13...
11. Heads up!
Another header - this time from Bayern Munich's 1975 European Cup SemiFfinal second leg against Saint-Etienne. Witness both the wall jumping ludicrously early, and the defender heading the ball freakishly high into the Munich sky.
12. Van der Vaart's brain faart
Questionable AI has been a problem that has plagued football games since the dawn of time. Rafael van der Vaart strikes FFT as quite an intelligent footballer (he left Tottenham at the right time, let's face it), but we're not quite sure what he was thinking here...
13. Man (and man and man) to man marking
Here's another bout of dodgy AI, as four defenders all brainlessly chase one player (Brazilian playmaker Denilson)...
Yeah, you've got it covered mate...
15. Getting the runaround
Ever had a smug mate take the Michael by bringing his keeper out and taking on half your team? This eerily grainy video will haunt your dreams...
16. Chris Wood has some neck on him
This is really the kind of thing that only happens in a video game. Or in this case, in real life...