I watched England vs Uruguay from Wembley Stadium's premium seats alongside ex-Premier League striker - it didn't disappoint

England in friendly action at home to Uruguay is, by definition, a low-jeopardy fixture - Wembley Stadium could have been excused for letting the event pass by without much fanfare, but that isn’t how things work.

Increasingly, modern football is a social event and whilst that may not always chime with the old-school supporter, it’s undoubtedly a sign of positive change that the spacious, accommodating Wembley Taphouse concourse on Friday night was a family-friendly environment.

Yes, there were your England die-hards, too, with their Three Lions calf tattoos and CP Company jackets but it was refreshing to see a melting pot of England spectators from different walks of life. Corporate campaigns often preach that football is a unifying force, so it was pleasing to actually see that represented in the Taphouse demographic for once.

England vs Uruguay from the premium seats: The FourFourTwo experience

As someone with a better understanding of the Marcelo Bielsa doctrine than most (I had the pleasure of reporting on his Leeds United tenure), I was apprehensive to attend a fixture in which he was involved on a hospitality ticket. That is, after all, not very Bielsa-like - the man who has been known to frequent local games in South America from the stands. The Taphouse, though, left a genuinely authentic concourse impression, with added perks such as an M&S Food pop-up and the feeling of being man-marked by food and drink kiosks - fitting given the visiting manager’s preferred out of possession style.

The puritanical Bielsa, under pressure to glean a result from the game despite its exhibition billing, brought his dissenting Uruguay team to Wembley, cheered on by scores of Celeste-supporting fans, draped in the blue-and-white of their national flag.

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England games are a rite of passage for any match-going fan – and unsurprisingly, hospitality tickets for the national side are amongst the very best in the country with pre-match lounge access, premium padded seats, quality dining and complimentary drinks. Matchday programmes and souvenirs are included, while the views are outstanding. You won't want to miss this.

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There was also a hearty contingent of Leeds supporters, keen to catch a glimpse of their former manager perched atop a drinks cooler one more time - probably his final public appearance on these shores.

That’s one of the selling points Wembley as a venue genuinely offers: each time England play, the stadium welcomes a new iteration of fan culture from around the world. I’ve been to more football games than I can count, the majority of which have been UK-based, but rarely have I experienced a crowd like the Uruguayan cohort. I’d expect the same for Japan on Tuesday.

Sandwiched between the upper and lower tiers, as a Taphouse attendee the vantage point was excellent. I was close enough to appreciate that flaxen-haired Uruguay No. 14 Agustin Canobbio was not in fact Diego Forlan but far enough away to believe it could be, if I really wanted to.

It took a while but once the stadium DJ played ‘World In Motion’, I was finally in the mood. Surely that’s first song on the teamsheet when deciding your set?

Sat a short hop away from former Premier League striker and evidently man-of-the-people Charlie Austin, I didn’t quite have the courage to ask if he was a fan of the drum-and-bass version of Oasis’s ‘Wonderwall’ we were blessed with/subjected to before kick-off. (Delete as applicable).

My personal highlight before the game got underway wasn’t the fireworks or health-and-safety-approved pyrotechnics display, nor was it the sign language interpreter on the big screen signing Cole Palmer by enacting his now trademark celebration. No, it was when the pre-match stadium host asked one of the young England mascots for some last minute words of encouragement.

‘Strategy. Defence. Teamwork.’

And people say Gareth Southgate hasn’t had a lasting effect on English football.

There was the usual mid-match entertainment during the inevitable stoppages in play for injuries and whatnot. By that, of course I mean the great English pastime of launching paper airplanes in the direction of the pitch. Only a handful made it.

Based on his display, I reckon Marcus Rashford will be on the plane this summer - not a paper one, either.

The proliferation of refreshment stalls in the Taphouse meant the pre-half-time rush for a pie, pint or popcorn*, observed at grounds up and down the country at 3:40pm on any given Saturday wasn’t necessary. Oh, you do spoil us, Wembley.

*still waiting on a verdict from the dubious football scrans committee for that one

Ben White’s cameo off the bench kicked the game into life on the pitch. Sentences you never thought you’d type. He also elicited the most visceral reaction of the evening from the home crowd as a chorus of boos followed his name being read out by the Wembley PA system. Poor guy, asked to do overtime at work and getting booed for it.

When he prodded in England’s opener, the boos made way for cheers - until his name was read out again, as the scorer. Panto season was months ago.

Completing his villain-to-hero-back-to-villain arc, White was then responsible for the concession of a stoppage time penalty which Federico Valverde duly dispatched of. Ironic, really, that one of the Uruguay dressing room’s rumoured anti-Bielsa men probably saved the Argentine’s job right at the death, beating James Trafford from the spot.

If he was really anti-Bielsa, he should’ve lashed it up at us in the Taphouse seats. Aim for the bloke with the southern fried chicken burger, Fede.

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